DAE often feel like they would have been much more happier, confident, and successful had they been the opposite sex?

I am a man, but I oftentimes feel like I would have been stronger, more confident, and more successful had I been a woman.

As long as I could remember (age 32 now), I always had an underlying respect and jealousy of girls and women: the way they carried themselves, presented themselves, etc. and their strength and confidence in their bodies. But because I am male, I had to be masculine, do masculine things, try to make friends with other boys, etc. In high school and college, I was mostly shy and kept to myself, mostly just doing things like playing on my laptop in my free time rather than trying to make friends and form connections and memories with my peers due to my low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and such.

I remember seeing billboards of women lawyers, businesswomen, and real estate agents and wishing I could be them, wishing I could have their success, their wardrobe, etc. I would oftentimes imagine myself being in their position, getting their portrait taken for said wardrobe, and getting butterflies. Even doing something like building a resume/selling myself to an employer would feel better as a woman. But because I am and obviously always will be a man, that was all just a pipe dream, unfortunately.

So, I try to be strong, tough, and confident as a man, but it feels like playing a character, and I feel tired and exhausted afterwards. My personality when playing this character is that of a jokester: someone who tries to make awful puns, talks in a weird voice, things like that. Think Mitch Hedberg or Norm MacDonald. This facade, however, takes up so much energy, and after an hour or so of social interaction, I find myself staring off into space and even dozing off.

In short, I feel like not being a woman robbed me of my true potential. I now work a dead end job, because I was too shy to tell my parents what I really wanted to do with my life, afraid they would criticize me, etc. So I just went to the same college as my brother who is a year older than I am to make things logistically easier for them. (I am the youngest of four, so I figured by the time I came along, parents were sick and tired of this college shit). But no use crying over spilled milk. I gotta play with the cards I have been dealt, and those cards just so happen to be masculine.