I stopped meditating because I was terrified of losing my sense of ‘self’. How do I overcome this?

I need some advice. I used to meditate frequently, however I eventually stopped for two reasons, both stemming from fear. I want to practice again, however I realise these are some big obstacles I need to overcome, and I’m not sure how to do so.

The first one is I became fearful of detaching from my thoughts and emotions. As someone with CPTSD, I have this strong internal desire to cling onto these thoughts of the past and worries, as well as certain emotions because a part of my unconscious brain senses they are useful to me, perhaps to protect me from future suffering and harm. How can I overcome this?

Secondly, I became fearful that I was losing my sense of self and my identity. With being present, and detaching myself from my thoughts, emotions, my past and my future, I felt like I was losing my sense of self- without these, who am I? I have struggled with my identity my whole life, but I feel a big part of it consists of my past, my story, and what I have been through. How can I preserve my sense of identity whilst practising being present continuously? My identity seems to be how I connect with people and how I build friendships, and without it, I just don’t know who I am. I know that buddhism claims that the ego is an illusion, is not useful to us, and only causes suffering, however I just feel unable to let go of it. As much as I’d like to think that I don’t need to attach myself to an ego, that I can do without it, but in reality I am really struggling to do. What can I do? Does anyone have any advice? Is there a way to be present without losing my sense of self? Or do I have to get rid of the illusion of the ego altogether (which feels impossible and scary)? Thank you